And in waiting she feels the tug of anticipation
A duel between happy excitement and gentle torment
That exists only with the assurance that it will be put at ease
Sleeping only to encourage tomorrow
Working only to pass the time
Breathing only to breathe the same air
Take away the anticipation by taking away the man
And the memory of the man
Take away the feel of his fingers on your lips and eyes
Take away time to before him and the nights are for rekindling the day
Necessary and indulged
Breathing is an unmeasured given
The shadow of tortured feeling is removed from everything
Neutrality resumes
Duller for it
Less appealing
Give me the man any day
Give me the torture
Give me the happy pain to feel the edges of the mundane
My senses and my nerves tingling and aware with the torment of love and lust and men
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